Journal #8 My Life As A Drug Addict

Hooray, I was just offered a job by STF Electric Services, Inc. They want me to come and work on the Day Break Temple for them. They know my situation and Steve Forsberg, one of the owners said that I could quickly work into a Project Manager position. Not exactly the job I envisioned when all this started, but hey, it's a decent job. The offer is for $23.00 per hour. I told them I wanted $28.00 per hour. I asked him if that was the best they could do. He said "that is actually quite a bit more that what we usually start our new guys out at". I said, "Do you offer any paid vacation or paid holiday?". Him, "Nope". I just said, "okay, when would you need me to start?" He was like, " ASAP, come in to the office tomorrow, fill out all the paperwork" No problem, I can handle that. Then he said it, he said "Then you can go down and take the drug test, the place is just a couple of blocks from the office, it usually only takes a day or two to get the results". Well nice knowing you guys. I am not sure they are going to be that excited about the 500mg of Morphine in my system, doctor prescription or not. Shit. My stomach really hurts. I am so screwed. It just hit me. Everyone is going to want a pre-hire drug screen. What the hell am I going to do? Shit, me stomach really hurts. I am not going to be able to get a decent job at all. I am going to have to take some shitty, residential wiring job for a crappy company that pays $18.00 an hour. I am going to be roping houses the rest of me life. I am a house roper. I wire houses. An I am slow at it, so I will never make a lot of money at it. I used to be pretty good at it. Oh man, my whole body hurts. Pre-hire drug screen. Maybe they will only test for coke or marijuana, it happens. How embarrassing if they don't and I fail. Does that go on my permanent record or something? How could I do this? What am I going to do? I am scared. I should have gone to church yesterday. I just don't feel like it. I don't feel like going to church. I don't want to talk to the employment specialist, even though he may be able to help. I know he can't, I have talked to him. I am on my own. Something good will happen, I am due for a good day this week. Man I feel like I just got kicked in the gut, like I need to throw up but I can't. This is making it worse to talk about it.
My daughters boyfriend is thinking about going on a mission. He is scared she won't be here when he get's home. He wants her to wear a promise ring. A freaking promise ring. Mandy was so excited about the "promise" ring. They went shopping for rings and it was this big deal. I didn't think she realized what she was promising so I sat her down last night and had a little talk. She freaked out and told him to take it back. Of course he freaked out and came right over to the house. He needs to loosen the reigns a little bit. I told him to just be cool and really nice and when he leaves, she will compare all the other guys to him. If he is the one, she will be here when he get's home, but I don't think a promise ring is the answer. I think I know how he feels. I think he would feel a lot better about leaving her if she was wearing a ring, but that is stupid. That would just make her feel more guilt when she meets some other guy and gets engaged. I really doubt the ring would stop her. Of course she picked out a ring that was $300.00. I said not a chance, you can't let him do that. So she picked one that was under $100.00. That was Thursday and she was so mad at me. Now atleast she understands why I wouldn't let him waste all that money. I said they could call it a friendship ring, but I think they should take it back and he should save his money. That also made her mad at me. Oh well, when it rains it pours.
Peace