Rehab 2 (cont 2) Christmas Day

The day I had been dreading was here. I left for Narconon on or about December 15th. I new the 25th was going to be very hard without my girls. I was in my last few days of detox when the 25th occured. I woke up early and went down to the ground level patio just off the boardwalk. There was just a 3 foot cynder block wall between the patio and all the people walking along the boardwalk and enjoying the beach. I was sitting on a lawn chair reading one of the Harry Potter books and drinking some of the decaf coffee that Narconon served and told everyone was regular coffee. My girls were reading the Harry Potter books, I felt a little closer to them while I was reading what they were reading. I could talk, or write them letters and talk about the Weasley's or Voldemort with them.
It was early and I was the only one outside. Just the way that I wanted it. I was feeling so sorry for myself and just wanted to be alone. I was having a hard time concentrating on the book because thoughts of what was going on at home just kept creeping into my mind. Were my girls happy today? Were they sad because I wasn't there? I wanted them to be happy or did I want them to be sad because I wasn't there? How was I supposed to feel. How were they supposed to feel? What the hell were they telling their friend? My poor little girls. I really had tried to give them everything they ever wanted. My goal was to give my daughters a great childhood, awesome memories, lot's of fun times. I wanted to be a cool and great dad. I had done the complete opposite. Instead of awesome memories they had terrible one's. Instead of fun toys ;4-wheelers, boats, vacations. There Dad was in rehab on Christmas Day. How do you deal with that as a kid? Your parents are supposed to be the stable people in your life. My kids should only hear about stories like mine happening to other families and feel sorry for them. But not too sorry, because you always think in the back of your mind "That would never happen to me" well it is happening to us. And it is all my freaking fault. I am a drug addict. My daughters Father, is and always will be a drug addict. Shit, that hurts, a lot. a lot.
So I am sitting on a lawn chair on the boardwalk. At this point I'm half reading my book and half watching all the people go by on their bikes, roller blades, running or walking. Actually, pretty great entertainment. I noticed the sunrise out over Catalina Island, it was incredible, just beautiful. I wished my girls were with me so bad. I wanted to go home so bad. It hurt my heart. I really wanted to cry all morning. I could hear Roman upstairs talking loudly while getting some cold cereal for breakfast. He was getting so annoying that I could hardly stand it anymore. I wanted to kick his ass. I was no longer intimidated by him at all. I didn't believe that he was in a gang, they would have kicked his ass. Sometimes, when it was just me and him talking alone at night I would feel sorry for him and be nice, other than that I would rather be alone and not talk to anyone. I was getting to know some of the other guys and was actually making some friends. On this day however, I just wanted to be left completely alone, all day. Everything was so peaceful with the sunrise and the beach but Roman was being so loud. His favorite thing lately was to imitate South Park (an adult cartoon) line by line. He did it all the time. I didn't even fake smile anymore when he did it to me. I could hear him start his routine upstairs. It was a song about "Jews" and the games they play. Games like Dradle and some others, as well as some serious Jewish streotypes. The main part of the song was to sing "Jews" again and again and again. He was getting louder and louder. I was getting nervous because I could hear him loud and clear and the boardwalk was really getting crowded. Finally, he stopped. I relaxed. Thank you, I thought and I started reading. Then without warning he started up again louder than ever. some different people must have entered the kitchen. Right as he went into the chorus, a nice Jewish couple walked by on the boardwalk. They paused and listened for a second and then kept going. After walking about 20 feet they stopped. Oh shit, I thought. The husband turned around with the wife grabbing his arm begging him to just keep going and forget about it. He was too pissed off, and I don't really blame him. He walked right up to me and said "What did you just say?" I said "Honestly sir, I didn't say anything, I have just been sitting here reading my book". The man was obviously Jewish, he fit all the descriptions, he was bald and maybe in his mid-fifties. He looked to me like he was quite successful, maybe an attorney or something and was just spending the holidays at his beach house or something. "So you are telling me that what I just heard didn't come from this house?" he said. Now remember, I wasn't in that great of a mood and certainly in no mood to take some shit from this guy. I said "Look, someone upstairs was singing a song from television show, I am sorry if it offended you, but it wasn't me". He really didn't believe me at all. He really thought that I sat right there and said that to him, which kind of pissed me off. So he stared right into my eyes trying to intimidate me for about 10 seconds, which didn't work even though he was standing and I was sitting, then he said in very measure words "Merry Fucking Christmas" and grabbed his wife by the arm and walked off.
Wow, I was having a great day. There were a couple of girls sitting on the second floor patio eating breakfast that heard most of the exchange. They of course wanted all the details. So the drama was started. All the rumors about the new guy on detox who got in a fight on the boardwalk were picking steam when all of a sudden the Beach Patrol Policemen showed up. Two of them. One in a 4-wheel drive pick-up and the other on a ATV. They pulled directly up to me, asked me for some ID, when I didn't have it on me at the time they cuffed me. Now one thing the students at Narconon know about it's police and they aren't real scared of them and they don't have a lot of respect for them. That didn't help my situation at all, all these guys came out and were making fun of them and laughing at them and really pissing them off. The big guy put me in his truck and started asking me all kinds of questions. Kind of wierd questions. Not just about me but about Narconon, what they do, how they do it, how many people were in there, what kind of drug users were in there. He also wanted to know what I used, when the last time I used, just question after question. I was new at Narconon and I really didn't know how to answer a lot of these pointed questions. Just then Jack knocked on the window. Jack was the director of Narconon. Jack was a smooth dude. Maybe about 45, 6'3", all the girls thought he was handsome and he could really talk. He was in sales in his previous, using life, went to Narconon after 12 other rehabs and decided to stay on and make a career out of it. Jack and the officer talked for awhile, it was cool being able to hear the whole conversation, this was going to make me very popular, everyone wanted to know what was going on and the other cop wouldn't let anyone else near. Jack had Stew and Nate, two employees to get every student inside. He then took Stew aside and told him to get everyone without ID or who might have a warrant out of sight or over to 7/11. He did this while the cop was radioing something to HQ in his truck, I thought it was for backup and I paddywagon perhaps. He was going to check every single person for warrants, he claimed that there had been a ton of complaints about Narconon lately and it was time to stop. Things like loud music or loud voices late at night, vulgarity or swearing at people as they went along the boardwalk, lot's of people smoking and flicking butts at folks on the boardwalk, it went on and on. Soon the Main Scientology local director arrived. Her name was Kat, she was a big, ugly, fat lady. Probably 55 years old. She looked really nice though. She looked like she could have been LDS, all of sudden she started talking "f-this and f-that" I couldn't believe it. she looked so stupid. This was all hilarious. She said this was all bullshit and that they needed a warrant, all they could do was check my ID and the girls on the patio upstairs. They couldn't recognize anyone else because most everyone had been shuffled off or hidden. Narconon was very nervous about being checked for overcrowding. Finally, the police checked about seven people for warrants and made 0 arrests, but what an ordeal. Holy shit.
After they left, Kat and Jack asked me if I was ok, then they asked me what the hell had happened. I really hadn't thought about this part of the situation. What was I going to do? Rat Roman out? I told them what I heard but that I had no idea who it was. Kat then said her goodbye and Merry Christmas and left. She said that she would be back for the big crab dinner they had planned for the holiday, but told Jack to get to the bottom of this thing. Damn it.
Jack called me into his office. He was sitting at his desk, Stew and Chuck were sitting on tables on either side of me. They questioned me again. I was like you know I can't rat him out. I said, "I don't know what the punishment is, but I will take it if you will give me a new roommate." I told them if they thought hard enough they could probably figure out who it was. "Roman" Stew and Chuck said at the same time. I said, " Now he is a pain in the ass, but I really don't need any enemies here you know". Then I bs'd with them for awhile about music and sports and stuff. Pretty cool guys. I got to be good friends with Stew. Chuck as well, not quite as much. Jack left about two weeks earlier than I did after they found out he was embezzleing a lot of money from them. Everyone thought it was funny how he lived like he did on his small salary.
One of the students, Mike was from Alaska. He had his family send a ton of crab meat to the house.
I will finish later.
peace